Mountain Top

The hills are amazing this time of year. I don't think I have ever seen such a beautiful spring. Or maybe I have just never truly appreciated the place where I live. Well, I do now.

I have found a new place. A new place of simply existing with God. When I am upset, when I need comfort, I take refuge in the arms of my father. There is no other place. There is no other security than this.

I am learning that God has always spoken to me strongly through nature. When I was a child, when I was afraid, when I felt that the darkness would overwhelm me, I found peace in the outdoors. At the age of eight, I came up with a plan to run away and live completely off of nature. I would find myself a place in the wildernness and live off of the land. I would live alone, safe from all the untrustworthy people, away from pain, away from fear. The trees and animals would be my friends. I thought I would have everything I needed. This dream of my child's heart keeps coming back to me. I see now that the longing I felt towards nature was a part of God's call on my heart. Even then He was listening to me and answering.

When we are children, God speaks to us in ways that we can understand. He gives us concrete examples of His presence. He uses stories, music, people, and things in the world around us to teach us who He is. As a child, I saw and experianced many things that were frightening, but God was always there, offering me assurance. Now, as I enter this new time of healing the wounds of the past, I am feeling that tug once again upon my heart.

"Come away with me."

"I have loved you with an everlasting Love."

Last week I went on the most beautiful hike of my life. It was a windy day, with high rain clouds and warm sun. As we walked, the sun would come out and warm our faces and arms. Me and my dear friend climbed a secret trail. It felt like we were going into Narnia. We went on a journey of discovery. Our destination was a secret, even from us. We walked through the tall grass, and suddenly came out into the open with views of the endless hills, covered in yellow. Finally, we stopped at the top of the world. I could see all the way to downtown LA, and across the ocean to Catalina. To the left, rain fell on Yorba Linda, to my right the sky was lit with sunshine. The wind thundered in my ears. Swallows danced an intricate ballet over my head. Suddenly, the wind died. Perfect silence. Peace. All the while, my creator King spoke to my heart. He spoke words of assurance, comfort, and healing.

If I ever dissappear, you will find me there on that hilltop, listening to the voice of my creator, knowing and being known. I will soak up the sunlight and rain. I will live without fear again.