"Crianças Belezas” (Beautiful Children)

There is a story behind these words.

It all began with the days in the park that we spent covered in face paint and sweat. The days that we played soccer in the dirt and climbed trees like monkeys. The days we spent with some of the most beautiful children in the world. Or maybe it was the nights that we prayed with them and held them when they cried. The times when we realized how deep the pain went. How deep was their need for God! How desperate were we to see their lives change! And then came the most painful part.
The goodbyes.
Letting go.
Leaving, with tears on their faces and ours.

These words mean all these things, yes. But, they also mean so much more. You see there was one day when I came before the Lord and tried to claim these kids for my own. I sat there, with my Bible and journal open and said to Him, “God, you had better do what you have promised!!! You had better go there and be with those kids, because I was there and I know what they need.” Then, I paused and prepared myself to write something suitably moving for the occasion.

A few milliseconds later, I felt a flame sweep my body from top to bottom. I had a sudden urge to throw myself on the ground and hide my face. The loudest whisper I have ever heard forcefully reverberated through my mind and heart, “DID YOU REALLY THINK YOU COULD HAVE DONE ALL OF THAT IF I HAD NOT DONE IT FIRST?” Belatedly, I realized that my protestations to God were in vain. Yes, He would do what He promised. He had been there since the beginning. He knew their needs closer and more dearly than I ever would. He was there in the darkest hours of their night, not me. He was trying, day after day, to break through and tell them how much He loved them. He didn’t need to have me there to do those things, but He had allowed me for one brief moment to love and be loved by them. Humbled, I felt tears fill my eyes. This Love that I carried, it was not about me.

Our service, our compassion, whatever we bring to this world, it’s not about us. The moment we make it about what a splendid person we are, we lose it, and good luck trying to get that back.

In the words of a very wise man; "As long as the help we offer to others is motivated primarily by the changes we may accomplish, our service cannot last long. When results do not appear, when success is absent, when we are no longer liked or praised for what we do, we lose the strength and motivation to continue. We see nothing but sad, poor, sick, and miserable people who, even after our many attempts to offer help remain sad, poor, sick and miserable, then the only reasonably response is to move away in order to prevent ourselves from becoming cynical or depressed. Radical servanthood challenges us, while attempting persistently to overcome poverty, hunger, illness, and any other form of human misery, to reveal the gentle presence of the Compassionate God in the midst of our broken world."

-Henry Nouwen, Compassion (emphasis added)

I never want to forget that sometimes God calls us to let go and trust that He holds and cares for people better than we ever could. These beautiful children are not mine, although I feel sometimes that they are brothers and sisters to my heart. They are His. I am His. We are His. Let us rest here together in His compassion.