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Why is it that travelling always stirs up the words inside of me? They bubble to the surface, up from my core, to solidify the lava-like changes of my landscape. Praise be to God who is always working in me. Father, may these changes be from you. Mold me and shape me.

Aihya! I cannot believe all the thing that I have seen in these past two weeks. I feel like it is all seeping from my pores. Faces, names, places- they attack me in my sleep from their fortress in the massive tangled web that is my subconscious. My overwhelmed brain is trying to process all of this. To do so, I must download some of the information. I have to get it out of me so I can try to make sense of it. Maybe then, it will generate something new in me and help me to find strength for what comes next. So, I am sitting here in my dear friend Sydney's living room, watching the Irish sky spit rain sparks, and hashing it out. Here we go. The ravings of a mad woman, or the ramblings of the sane, I am not sure exactly. Here they are, slightly organized and a bit disjointed, a few of the lessons I want to take away from my trip to Uganda.

Lessons One
From my Ugandan friends, I have the valuable lesson of a lifestyle of humility.

I wish I could live as they do. I wish that I could have a heart that has lost so much, but still believes completely in a good and gracious God. They have known heartbreak that I can never fathom. All the people we met told us stories of loss and devastation that were mind blowing to me. It showed me how much I have. However, it also showed me how much I am lacking. Because regardless of what they have lost, they have gained a richer faith than anything I could imagine.

Over the past two weeks, I have come to realize that there are holes in my spirituality, whole passages of scripture that I have never understood, and a timidity to my prayers. My Ugandan friends do not have these problems. For them, faith is a matter of necessity, it is what holds them together and gives them hope and purpose. When my friend Betty prays for the sick, she does so with a confidence in God that I have never had. I have always had medicine to heal me, I have always had food, and I have always had love. But, in the things that I HAVE I now believe that I have missed out on the reality that God is the ultimate Healer, Provider, and the true Source of relational love. Last week, out of the desperation of my heart I prayed this to God;
"My heart is moved by the humility that their (the Ugandans) soul hunger has worked within them and the way that it opens the door for You to be great. If you must, Lord, humble my heart and body. Make your name great in my life. Not the name 'Amanda' but the name of Jesus. My faith does not stand as strongly as theirs does. My voice does not call upon your name and strength and majesty as urgently as theirs. Do what must be done in me so that I may learn this."

My richness had made me poor. True humility knows it's own weakness, and calls upon God to be great. This is my new hearts cry. And, I'm not going to lie, it's pretty terrifying.

Lesson Two
People are the most valuable and precious currency on this earth.

The most wonderful moments for me in Uganda were all about people. Weather it was with the children at the school, the babies at the orphanage, or laughing with our translators Teddy, Sheila and Betty, I was continually surrounded by affection and love. It was like a spout had opened up above me and love was pouring through me. I honestly feel that I would have been happy to stay in Africa and hug children for the rest of my life. And I put that down, not as a testament to myself, but the overwhelming love that God has for all people.

The people of the earth are so precious to our Father. He has made them in His image, to be holders of His presence, and to shine His joy on the earth. In Uganda, a joyful smile is a wonderful gift. The white flash of teeth and the slow spread of dimples gives grace to so many interactions. A touch of the hand is a communication of affection, trust and friendship. So, although I spent the last week and a half or so without warm showers, sleeping under mosquito netting, and with frequent power outages, I feel so rich. I am so blessed to have known these people, and to be known by them.

People are precious. They are the most valuable thing on the earth. Nothing we have will ever compare to the value of relationships and love.


That's all... That's the end and the beginning of some of my thoughts on this week. I'm sure more will follow. Thank you for allowing me to torrent my thoughts, to projectile vomit them out into the open.

I'm going to go enjoy some more of Sydney's hot water now. :)